The Cherokee Pincer of Wet

C and I had a camping weekend in Cherokee with Pack 24.  We got wet.  It rained on Friday and Saturday morning.  It has rained on all of our camping trips with Pack 24 and the tent had worked in the rain on previous outings.  This time I put a towel on the floor by the door because there was already some water on the floor when C went to bed at 9:30.  By the time I went to bed @ 10:15, the towel was already soaked.  There's a bad sign!  Our pillows and the bottoms of our sleeping bags got increasingly wet as they would touch the tent walls and wick the water through.  So we got caught in a pincer of wet.  By morning, our sleeping bags were soaked, our jammies were mostly wet, and there was a puddle of water on the tent floor.  But other than that we were dry!  Fortunately, I had left the backpack with the packed clothing in the car so our clothes would be dry regardless of the condition of the tent.

We helped make breakfast.  The plan was to go to the Indian Village but given the weather, we went to the Cherokee Museum instead.  We had packed lunch and went to a park pavilion in Cherokee to eat.  The pavilion was on an island in the middle of the river and the high river provided something to watch (in addition to the rain).  By the end of lunch, the rain had stopped, so we tried the Indian Village.  It was closed due to a walkway partially washing out.  Onward to the Visitors Center of Smokey Mtn National Park, where we heard a Ranger's presentation on the local aquatic indicator species and then toured the farm museum.  That evening we went to a bonfire where the Cherokee told some of their stories and did a dance.  Given the state of our sleeping bags, camping was out of the question so C and I found a 1950s drive-in motel, complete with brilliantly white wicker furniture and ill-fitting mini-golf style carpet.  But it was clean, the bed was comfortable, and the shower had hot water.  So it was a weekend of finding plan B, going with the flow, and it all working out.

Though the life jacket in the picture below fits with this weekend's activities, it is actually from Pack 24's canoe trip on the Catawba River in May.  We actually had sunny, hot weather for that trip!

Last night, part of the beam of M's bed (an antique from Aunt Helen and Uncle Elmer) split, dropping the right side of the mattress to the floor.  C was sleeping in the bed when it broke (still scared from the ghost stories at the Cherokee bonfire so he was staying with his sisters) but he slept through it!  T reported that M and E had been jumping on the bed earlier in the day which apparently weakened it to its perilous condition.  I had always used the "I broke my collar bone" story as the sage (but inevitably ignored) warning about jumping on the bed, but here's a new one for the catalog of warnings:  don't jump on the bed because you might break it.  The beam split pretty cleanly and the along the whole length of the beam so it may be fixable.  For now, M's mattress rests on the floor.  We'll see if that gets her to fall asleep any faster.  Nothing else has....

End of Grade Dental Exams

Ok, EOGs and dental exams are really separate issues but it's hard to devise a title that includes end of grade exams, field day, an honor roll ceremony, the big dance performance, end of 3rd grade, a trip to the Speedway, and a dental visit.  And the title Miscellaneous End of School Year Stuff is even more boring than the existing title.

So C has been a busy boy the last couple of weeks.3rd grade is the first time they take end of grade exams in reading and math.  From here on, they take them every year and add more subjects.  C was nervous about it but survived.  He got 4 of 5 in math and 2 in reading.  Fortunately, he met the other criteria in reading so that the EOG score alone didn't determine his proficiency.  Still we'll have to work on reading consistently this summer.  His class had a number of fun events in the days between EOGs and the last day of school:  field day, game day, the honor roll ceremony--C made the A/B honor roll for the quarter and was honored for achieving it in all 4 quarters. They had a Hawaiian luau party on the last day.  Then that evening, the kids were given tickets to the Speedway to see bus races and other events.  C went w T and his friend G.  Unfortunately, the buses didn't do so well--one wouldn't start, one was dragging a pipe and creating sparks, one tipped over (!) on the steep curves. But flames and toppling buses are fun too...

The big end of year dance performance was last weekend and the boys once again were a big hit with their energetic dance.  This time they wore soldiers' costumes. C's face showed his concentration and his lips showed him keeping count.  Mr. Sarkis complemented C afterwards and told him he needed him to be a leader in the class next year to help the younger boys.

And then there's the dental visit for all 3 kids at once.  C has had an upper tooth coming in above a baby tooth so we knew that one would require removal.  The dentist decided to take out both upper baby teeth to give the new one more room and because the same thing was likely to happen when the other upper tooth descended.  For some reason, C's adult teeth aren't following the same route as the baby teeth.  When they hit the baby tooth, they angle out and around rather than pushing them out and dissolving the baby tooth.  Then M's X-rays came back and she has 3 cavities on the surfaces between the teeth--ie, the kind that are especially difficult to remove and cap.  Those appointments are coming up.  E is probably the worst brusher of the 3 but came thru unscathed so far.  Thank goodness we have dental insurance thru Wingate to cover most of it.  C didn't eat anything yesterday after the extraction but made up for it today slurping down a Frosty, yogurt, mandarin oranges, soup, and watermelon.  He also seemed to be a much better mood once he realized that he could talk normally. 

After all that, I think we're all ready for summer break for a while!  Especially not having to get up to catch a 6:40 school bus!

Pre-K Graduation Day, 2014 style

Miss M's preschool graduation ceremony was today.  Two done!  Though it doesn't quite bring the sense of relief that I expect having two done with HS or college will bring.

The ceremony was very nice.  The kids were all dressed in Lewisburg High School green robes and mortarboards.  Miss Stephanie and Miss Sharon had nice personal observations about each of the children.  Miss Stephanie reported that Miss M wants to be a doctor like Doc McStuffins.  She was the most ambitious of the bunch (though one girl wanted to be a princess and I guess that requires ambition if you are not born into the post).  Most of the boys want to build things or blow them up.  Miss Sharon related that Miss M is one of the children who has been with the preschool since being an infant and that she has always called Miss M "Peanut." In fact, when Lil E talks to Miss Sharon about M, she also refers to M as "Peanut," so that Miss Sharon will know exactly who she's hearing about.  Miss Sharon also shared that M's more recent nickname is Sassypants.  That name needs to be recorded here for all of history, not that I think any of us who know M will forget!

M seemed a bit anxious about having to graduate preschool in the last week, but was fine during the ceremony.  She used the rolled-up diploma as a spyglass to survey the room while Miss Sharon spoke. She didn't even make her sourpuss face. When it was time to perform for us, she sang and danced...except when her mortarboard fell off.  She was stalled until Mommy returned it to its rightful place.  Then the dancing could resume.

In the previous weeks, M has been very excited about her 5th birthday, telling everyone she met about its impending arrival.  Her party is coming up this Sunday.  Lil E is always concerned about who's birthday is next (she is always hoping it will be hers).  Lil E loves to play with her brother or sister but is also content to play by herself, especially at the big doll house in the playroom.  She is still not interested in eating or using the potty (much to Mommy's chagrin). 

On Monday, C received his Cub Scout Bear badge.  He's nearing the end of third grade and is taking the EOG (end of grade exams.)  He's been enjoying the late arrival of spring weather with his friends, Caleb, Jalen, Jordan, and TJ.  They ride bikes almost every evening.  C was never previously interested in riding a bike.  This spring, his training wheels literally fell off as he rode.  He hasn't needed them because he taught himself how to ride (positive peer pressure, eh?).

Sleepin' with the Fishes

means something different in Atlanta than NJ.  C and I went to a sleepover at the Atlanta aquarium this weekend with his Cub pack.  We got backstage tours of all the sections and got to see the public areas without having to fight through 543 other tourists.  We saw the Cold Water exhibit (buluga whales, penguins), freshwater exhibit (alligators, piranhas), Tropical (all the brightly colored fish and funky jelly fish), and the dolphin show. We also got to see the pump rooms, the animal hospital, and the scuba divers cleaning the tank.  The highlight was sleeping in the auditorium with the football field-sized window of the ocean tank, complete with whale sharks, huge manta rays, and lots of other fishes making their rounds.  If we hadn't spent the day driving to Atlanta and in the zoo and facing a 6 am wake up and return drive to CLT on Sunday, it would have been tempting just to stay up and watch the fish most of the night.  Sunday morning we got to watch the feeding of the whale sharks--which they do from rafts they pull across the top of the pool.  We watched first from the tunnel and then from the auditorium.  The whale sharks just swim behind the boats with their mouths open and suck in all the shrimp that are dumped out. C seemed to enjoy it all.  He asked and answered questions of the guide.  And fell asleep immediately in the car and slept until near the SC/NC border (about 3 hours).

The Atlanta zoo was small, but had a good panda exhibit--@4 adults and 2 babies--chomping gleefully on bamboo branches.  The boys took their time and genuinely seemed to enjoy watching the animals.  And the virtue of going in Feb is that kids do not constantly ask for ice cream or slushies!

Tomorrow we're supposed to get 4-8 inches of snow.  So we may have snowman pictures to post.  Then again, late in the day, snow is supposed to turn to sleet, so it may just be a mess.  In any case, we're likely to be holed up at home for a few days.  Pray the electricity stays on!

Mena on Parenting

Out of the blue, as is her usual practice when offering her gems of wisdom, came this one tonight:  "Dads are awesome!"  E:  "Really?  How are they awesome?"  M:  "Well, Moms give lots of instructions and everybody listens to them.  Dads give instructions but nobody listens to them."  [I had noticed that and suspected others had as well...]  E:  "Well that doesn't sound so awesome!"  M:  "Dads are really good at driving, but they drive a different way than Moms.  [Yeah, presumably the wrong way...]  But do ya know what Dads are really awesome at?  Dads are taller than Moms.  They can reach things that are really high."  [That's the big closer?!  Given my ability to reach things that are really high, we should have declared victory at driving differently!]

In other news, E's interest in potty training has picked up in the past week.  She picked out a little potty for herself that sings when you pee in it and lights up, makes a flushing sound, and has another song when you "flush" it.  E sings along.  Now maybe if we got spoons and forks that sang, she would eat more...

C was probably happy to go back to school after Christmas break, as he was "bored" at home.  All his hours on Wii, the ipad, and the computer apparently were insufficient to keep him entertained.  In fairness, one of his Xmas presents never arrived, and two others don't work.  One of M's doesn't work either.  But on the bright side, we can leave phone and email messages for the companies since no one hires people to talk to customers--or apparently make products that work--anymore either.

Carmen

C had a busy week last week, practicing and then performing in the premier of a ballet version of Carmen by the NC Dance Theater, Charlotte's professional ballet company.  He had been chosen by the director to dance one of the mill worker kids parts.  He had rehearsals every night last week, which made him tired and cranky, but on stage, he was all smiles and full of energy.  So he has the ability to turn on the adrenaline or he's a really good actor.  He did not seem nervous whatsoever about being on stage...but did get annoyed when middle aged women would fuss over how cute he was.  He and the other kids did a great job with their parts--as did everyone.  It was a first rate performance.  And Bizet's score was pretty good too!  The ballet was 50 minutes--it's remarkable how short you can make an opera when you cut out all the singing...

M has been doing well in gymnastics and now looks forward to going every Monday.  In fact, she'll excitedly ask if it's Monday yet so she can go to gymnastics.  She still doesn't follow instructions very well while she's there, but none of the other kids do either.  It's interpretive (or I'll do my unique version of it) gymnastics.  Last week, her behavior was especially good all week without C around and I've noticed it continuing this week.  When she's playing by herself, she's fine too, but as soon as C comes into the vicinity to "observe," they start mixing it up.  She's doing much better in preschool the past week or so too.  She had been unhappy because the class only had 2 other girls and both of them were also divas.  She is now good friends with one of the other girls so is back to enjoying herself.

E has started to potty train in exchange for Princess Sophie undies that T promised her.  She still won't go to the potty any more consistently for me, so we'll see how it works.  She may be shifting out of naps too.  She naps inconsistently at preschool but sleeps consistently on the drive home.  She misses going to the pool.  She'll often ask if we can go to the pool when we drive past it and clearly does not understand that it is a long wait until May.  Given that she often didn't want to get in the cold water in the summer, getting in the water in Oct probably wouldn't be too enjoyable.

The Art of Campaigning

C has won his first election!  He has been elected Vice President of 4-H of the afterschool program at Carl Furr Elementary.  I asked him how he won:

C:  "I got 14 votes.  The other person got 36."
E:  "That made him president?"
C: "Yup." 
E:  "How did they know who to vote for?" 
C:  "We couldn't use our faces." 
E:  "So they didn't know what you looked like?  Didn't some of them know who you were?" 
C:  "Yea, the people who knew me voted for me." 
E:  "What about everybody else?  How did they vote if they didn't know either of you?" 
C:  "They just picked somebody."  [Dr. H observes:  Much like every other election.  God Bless America!] 
E:  "Did you campaign?  What did you tell people to ask them to vote for you?" 
C:  "Put the vote in the back.  I'm more sweaty!" 

[Dr. H:  After several attempts at clarification, I still have no idea what that means or why in the world anyone would vote for someone with that campaign slogan.  If there is a political science explanation, I suppose it is:  1)  C came in second; 2) campaign slogans don't matter in 3rd grade either.]

Pretty in Pink (and blue)

Little Miss E had quite a day.  She started by locking M and me (E) out of house.  Communicating thru the front door wasn't working so we moved to the back door which is all glass.  There, Lil E was better able to see which lock I was telling her to turn and how to turn it to get it to unlock.  She had locked herself inside a bedroom at Shawnee but clearly had not learned her lesson about playing with locks.

Then she didn't come downstairs for dinner. She had been in the playroom watching Peter Pan.  When I went upstairs to bring her down, she was in M's room, stark naked, painting herself in pink and blue nail polish.  Fortunately, she hadn't totally immersed herself in it, but had managed to paint areas of her legs, tummy, back, hands, feet (including the bottom of both feet), and face.  Her fingers and toes were entirely covered.  Her nails were covered so thickly, it bothered her later in the evening as she was scraping it off.  She used nail polish as mascara so her eye lids were covered.  She had painted the dolls from M's dollhouse with her best Joker face paint (think Jack Nicholson's artistry from the Tim Burton Batman).  And she did some swirls on M's dresser--each and every drawer of M's dresser.  Fortunately, I only saw one small splotch on the carpet. So E went straight to the bath while I found nail polish remover.  I got about 95% off and she cooperated quite well given all the rubbing she was subjected to.  Tomorrow there will be more work to do on the dolls and the dresser. 

When taking E to the potty tonight, she looked up at T's bottles in the medicine cabinet and says, "Can I have more polish?"  Gotta admit, that's funny...

Mt. Mitchell

C and I traveled to the highest point in the East this weekend on a Scout trip to Mt. Mitchell.  We went to the campsite at the base of the mtn on Sat morning, thereby avoiding 3 inches of rain that fell there on Friday night.  The two families who arrived Friday moved the picnic tables from the pavilion and set up their tents there to stay dry.  It rained Sat too--fortunately just after we hopped in our cars to drive to Mt. Mitchell.  Though we were at the base, and there is a 5.6 mile hiking trail to the peak, it is about a 30 mile car trip:  10 miles away from the mtn to the Blue Ridge Parkway, then a 20 mile arc back to the mtn.  Even when the deluge stopped as we drove, we could see the storm clouds clinging to the top of the mtn.  But by the time we arrived, it had stopped raining there.  We still couldn't see much from the observation deck as the view was mostly obscured by clouds in three directions.  We ate lunch at the top then went on a 1 mile hike to a "waterfall".  The trail was badly eroded and was mostly wet rocks and wet roots, so it was a rather treacherous walk.  The boys did really well and didn't even complain during the steep hike back.  The boys got into a discussion of episodes 7, 8, and 9 of Star Wars which will be filmed by Disney.  (First, it's pretty amazing that the movies that defined the childhoods of the adult leaders are followed as closely a generation later.)  One boy observed that "In all Disney movies, the animals sing.  I don't think I'd like that in Star Wars."  No, as good as Disney musicals are, singing space creatures would certainly doom a Star Wars movie.  We walked to the "falls" and the boys took of their shoes and walked around in the water.  C and three (of the four) others of course fell in the freezing water but didn't seem to mind.  One boy, after climbing out of the water, said "Aww, my peanuts are wet."  He said it quickly so the adults heard another P-word.  Then he reached in his pocket and pulled out a bag of trail mix.  The adults immediately broke out in hysterical laughter and the boys just looked bewildered at us.  Upon reaching the top of the mountain, and the end of the hike, the rain began again.  Our timing was perfect yet again.  Once we were back at camp, by which time the rain had stopped, the boys played with each other and kept occupied nicely.  In the evening, they went to look for a fishing spot in the creek.  The weather had cleared and we could see blue sky above but it was still misty along the creek.  C enjoyed trying to skip stones in the creek--with all the rain this summer, there was plenty of rushing water.  I had the task of finding round, flat rocks for C and a friend.  He had a good sleep last night and was raring to go at 7 am regardless of my warning that it was warmer in the sleeping bag (no sleeping in for dad!).  He slept on the drive home!

E's news is that we reconfigured her bed to a toddler bed.  She started climbing out of her crib this week, so the time had come.  Now we have lost the incentive that we would move her to a toddler bed if she went to sleep, etc.  Oh well.  She's now a big girl.  Up next--a potty trained big girl!  The humorous note for E is that she's picked up an Alison Janney line from "Hairspray" (originally from Mommy Dearest) and calls C, M or a doll "Devil Child, Devil Child" and shakes her finger at them when they violate her preferences.

M has finally agreed to try gymnastics so T will take her to her first class tomorrow.  Given her flexibility and strength, she should be really good at it.  Here's hoping she has the patience and discipline it keep at it.

Undercurrents and Rip Tides

Adoption begins with a loss...

It doesn't matter how an adoptive family is created. The story begins with a loss. In preparation for the adoption, we learn our child's sense of grief and loss can ebb and flow. This ebb and flow reminds me of an ocean's undercurrent. It's always present, sometimes gently moving the grains of sand gently to and fro. Other times, the grief and loss can become a voracious rip tide or tsunami wave.

Tonight, C experienced his first rip current...

Earlier in the evening, the family (including Oma and Opa) were playing croquet. All seemed well. C was enjoying himself. Toward the end of the second game, C became upset with a play that he thought had not occurred. Being C (and drawing close to bedtime), he made choices that indicated an increasing level of frustration. As E and I worked to help him get ready for bed (and to de-escalate), he began hyperventilating.

With him being placed on my lap, I began trying to help him slow his breathing and calm down. As his breathing slowed, the sobs began increasing. So, I asked what he was thinking about. "Dinah," he replied.

Dinah was one of our two cats we had been placed with last September (after the death of our 16 yr old cat Bella). Recently, my asthma exacerbated, so my allergist suggested I undergo allergy testing. Among my multiple allergies, I discovered I was allergic to cats. Therefore, we had to relinquish the cats. This, as you can imagine, was tough for C. However, Mommy needs to breathe, since my lungs are only functioning at 70% of their capacity.

Back to tonight...

As we sat together, C worked through his sobs and asked if Dinah and Felicia were going to another family. I looked at him and said, "Since they can't be with us, I hope they can be placed with another family who will love them just as much as we do." With tears in his eyes, he asked if that's what happened to him.

(Insert Mommy inhale and exhale)

Since we know some information about C's birth mother, I answered as honestly as I could. I told him that, yes, his birth mommy was unable to care for him. Yes, she wanted him to be with a family who would care for him and give him the love he deserved.

After a few more words, I continued sitting by his side. I held his hand as he sobbed, slowed to a cry, and began slowly falling asleep. Before he fell asleep, I laid my head on his and whispered, "You're my favorite C in the whole world and I'll never stop loving you. I love you forever and ever and always."

My heart is heavy. I will never truly and fully replace the love my children would experience had life circumstances given them the opportunity to remain with their birth parent(s). Since this journey we call life gave us the opportunity to be united as a family, I will do my best to love my children fully and unconditionally, giving them the love they need, in the way that love is needed. I will be there for their laughter and happiness, when their faces beam more brightly than the sun. I will be there for their undercurrent moments. And, most importantly, I will be there when the rip tide or tsunami wave threatens to pull them under.