Babies and Adoption

C can tell you that he's adopted and that he's from Vietnam, but I've wondered what that really means to him at his age.  Having a new baby in the house has spurred a couple of opportunities for him to confront what it means to be adopted.  Last night was one.  C asked T if he drank milk from her breast like Ellie.  T said no, he was given milk from a bottle by Nanny Tuyet in the care center.  T reported that C teared up when told that she didn't nurse him, but he didn't break down and bawl as he had in the previous incident...About 2 months ago, T and C were reading "The Family Book."  One page mentions adoptive families and T asked C whether he knew anyone who had been adopted.  He said, "Yes, me, Mena, and Ellie."  T explained that he and M were adopted but that Little E was not. He and M had been carried in other women's tummies (their birth mommies) just liked mommy had carried Little E until she was born.  When T finally got him calmed down enough to talk about it, C apparently was afraid that this meant someone else was going to come to get him and that he didn't want to leave us.  T explained that we were his family forever and no one was coming to take him and this reassured him.  Tonight he asked me, "Did I do that as a baby?" and I had to repeat the care center story and he seemed okay with it.  That question is likely to recur over the next few months...

C has been doing very well in school.  That is, after a trip to the principal's office a couple of weeks ago for spewing chocolate milk onto another boy's pizza (along with an accomplice).  A week of punishment at home and school seems to have convinced him for now that getting "good colors" for good behavior is the better way to go.

M's language is coming along rapidly. She can tell us the basic things she needs.  She likes to point to things so we'll tell her the word for it, which she'll then repeat.  She's using a few 2 and 3 word phrases.  "Bless you" after someone sneezes is particularly cute.  She's into everything.  She likes to climb into the floor level cupboards in the kitchen and close the doors to "hide" from us and then giggle uproriously when she peeks out to see if we're looking.  She still loves to play "Duck, Duck, Goose," and now gets the part about running after you say "goose."   She can open the bathroom door on her own, which is a problem since she likes to splash in the tiolet.  Not an improvement from unrolling the tiolet paper which was her old favorite trick.  She sits on the tiolet a couple times a day (very briefly) but so far hasn't gone while sitting there.  She still wants to "go" standing up because that's what she sees C doing.  She's removing her diaper more frequently so that we'll take her to the potty.  About a week ago, she pooped on the floor of C's bedroom before we knew what she was doing.  (C reacted very calmly--more so than me anyway...).  She can fend for herself:  when she wants to do something and T or I try to help, we get an emphatic "No" (esp. when it comes to putting on socks and shoes or closing buckles or buttons). And C is often the victim of an assertive push when she wants him out of her way--particularly when she wants on the step stool in the bathroom.

Case in point, a video we like to call, "Bossy M."

Little E is generally waking up only once per night and then going back to sleep after feeding (she's become a nursing champ!).  So mommy and daddy are sleeping much better.  She smiles a lot.  She has great head control.  She can roll onto her side which sparked us to put together her crib this week.  C then announced that he was moving into the pink room to sleep with Ellie and M could have his room.  When that plan was rejected, we agreed that he could sleep on the floor in the room (on an air matress) with a sleeping bag.  He did that four nights straight.  M is thrilled with Ellie.  She loves to give her hugs and to pat her gently.  When E cries, M comes running to provide comfort.  When M wakes in morning, she generally asks, "Where's Ellie?"  Then "Where's Mommy?"  So then we go to Mommy and Daddy's room so M can see E sleeping in the basinette.  M chants, "Ellie, Ellie, Ellie" with a huge smile on her face.  (In the afternoon, M will ask, "Where's Dolin?"  (ie, Colin)  The response:  "He's at school."  M replies: "OK."). Little E has recently discovered the outside world (and her fingers).

The three of them are getting along extremely well.  They're going to have a lot of fun together and T and I will have a lot of fun with them--we are already.

Happy Valentine's Day...

Happy (Belated) VN New Year

We traveled to Winston Salem today to celebrate the Vietnamese New Year with other adoptive families from NC.  It was the first time we had joined this group.  There were 15 or so families present--most with multiple kids--so it was a room full of energy!  The highlight was a troupe of Chinese dragon dancers.  They had three dragon customes (the kind typically seen in parades).  They were very colorful and ornately decorated.  The mouths, eyes, and even ears moved.  I wanted to get a picture of C with the costumes but he wouldn't do it.  We did video their performance--including one of the dragons going eye-to-eye with C.  C was as far back in his chair as he could go to avoid being eaten by the dragon.  And as soon as the dragon moved on, he ran over to Mommy and hung onto her leg for the rest of the performance.  Most of the kids had a similar reaction--holding onto their parents for dear life!  If the dragons didn't scare them, the loud drums did.  M spent the performance with her hands over her eyes--but peeking through them--as she did at the circus last week (I'm now realizing we never posted about that...so I'll get to it below).  I'd never seen such a performance and thought it was a lot of fun.

Then we had lunch.  Most of the dishes were VN recipes.  Unfortunately, I didn't see the high chairs before M had made her food mess (sitting on my lap) because jumping around and playing with food is better than eating it.  After she was done, I then went back for my food; there wasn't much left at that point, but I was able to fill my plate with the few items that were left and they were all very good.  After lunch all the kids chased each other around and around and around.  The room had a stage and of course being on stage was especially exciting.

Last Sunday afternoon, we went to the Barnum and Bailey circus.  Lots of, well, everything:  lights, sounds, animals, contortionists, people in the air, people on vehicles, and of course plenty of clowns!  We got C his popcorn as soon as we arrived to preempt hours of nagging.  M did pretty well sitting on my lap, though did want to get up to move around from time to time.  We were sitting next to an aisle so she would get frustrated that I wouldn't let her play on the stairs or hang from the railings.  Some of the other people on the aisle found her at least as entertaining as the circus as they would immediately watch her, laugh, and wave at her when she got loose. 

Big week for me too.  "How the Gov Got in Your Backyard" came out on Wed.  The complete, revised manuscript of the never-ending magnum opus was submitted to the University of Michigan Press on Thursday (still have the copy editing and page proof stages to go before that one finally ends!), and the Democratic National Committee announced it will be in Charlotte in 2012.  So developing ways to take advantage of the convention for the university apparently will be my next big project.

T goes back to work on Monday, so she and little E will be in for big change.  And so will I, especially if little E refuses to drink from a bottle.  Let the fun begin!

Sister Love

Showing Little E some love, Miss M style...enjoy!

Concertino

After multiple attempts, when she would shut down when the camera appeared, we finally have it recorded for posterity:  Miss M's first official concert. Let the festivities begin!



Sibling love...

Saved for posterity (or evidence when the teenage years arrive):

And, some daddy love (until Little E is big enough to take on her big brother and sister):

Snow Day!

Though since it was Sunday and the day after Christmas, we didn't get off of work or school.  Still.  Any snow day (without ice) is a good day.  The kids and I went out in the morning.  We had a hand-me-down snow suit for M.  She had trouble walking around in the snow in it, however, and when she'd topple over (frequently), she couldn't get herself back to standing position.  So C and I spent a lot of time pulling her upright.  We also had three (!!!) sets of hand-me-down boots for her--including a set in pink to go with the snow suit.  Now that's accessorizing!  (Where are my pink boots when I need them?)  Unfortunately, all three sets of boots were a bit too big, so she kept kicking them off and walking around in the snow in her socks.  Needless to say, she went back inside rather quickly.  But not before we got lots of good photos of her in the snow.

C helped me clean off the car.  And got his wish to throw snowballs and to build a snowman.  The snow was perfect for packing and snowman building.  As I shoveled the snow from the driveway, I dumped it in a pile for C and I to use as the body of the snowman.  C used the snow from the hood of the car to form a massive head for the snowman.  Remarkably, it held together all the way from the car to the snowman and even held together when we set it on the body.  But then we tried to pack a neck around it to hold it steady and it split into three large sections.  Humpy Dumpty may not go back together again, but C and I were able to refashion the head.  Then find some scraps of whatever is lying around for a nose, a hat and scarf, and bingo--a passable snowman.

Now, how to keep the kids entertained the rest of the week...

A White Christmas in Southtown?!

Mrs. C must have paid a visit to Mother Nature and they ganged up on Heat Meiser to allow snow in Southtown.  The first time since 1947!  This is our third White Christmas in a row.  Unprecedented!  Come to think of it, the snow must be due to one particular d!@# Yankee being down here this year for the first time.  We were home for Christmas this year and nature tried to make it feel like being at the old home.

C got us started this morning, coming into the bedroom to announce with enthusiasm that there were lots of presents around the tree.  I then had to come into the hall with him to look downstairs to see for myself. He then informed me that we would wait to open them, until Mommy and Mena were awake and we had breakfast.  But in the meantime, he would have a chocolate milk!  Remarkable self-discipline and planning.  MY BOY!

It was lots of fun to see him rip open his packages and cheer with delight to see what was inside.  And EVERYTHING was a big thrill.  M opened a pillow pet first and gave it a big hug.  Her big present was a rider that plays music.  It's really for outside, but she rode it all over the house and had a good ole time.

M also liked little E's presents and was not happy when we would not unbox them so that she could play with them.  Little E was so excited with the festivities that she slept through them.   Presumably so she could make sure that she could stay up at night...  Party on...

M's vocabulary has been increasing dramatically.  She likes to say "Dank you"--with a smile--when you hand her something.  She constantly surprises us with new "proto-words" she speaks.  The last few days, she has wanted to do the motions to "Itsy-bitsy spider."

We'll see if it keeps snowing.  The ground was wet before the snow, so it will have to snow quite a bit for any to stick.  C has already proposed that we skip church tomorrow so that he can build a snowman and throw snowballs.  He's planning on lots o' snow.  If we do get to play in the snow, we'll have posts two days in a row.  Talk about unprecedented...

And Now There Are Five

Ellie joined us at 7:03 p.m. on Sunday, Nov. 21. Labor started at 5:20 a.m. T was not deterred; she went to church and sang in the choir while having contractions. After lunch, we called Oma and Opa to tell them "You might want to start packing." They had planned to arrive Monday, Nov. 29. We also called M & J to give them the heads up that C & M might be coming over to play. T spent most of the afternoon upstairs with blinds drawn in her dark Mommy cave, while E and the kids played outside in the sunshine and leaves. We arrived at the hospital around 5 and T was already fully effaced and dilated to 5 cm. She quickly got an epidural. When told by Dr. B that she was racing someone else down the hall, T sped up her contractions and had Ellie ready to go by the time Dr. B returned to check on her. In her downtime, T kept the world updated on Facebook. (Because if it is necessary for people to share daily minutia, sharing each contraction is critical.) 4 or 5 pushes and it was over. Thankfully, it was about as quick and easy as they come (esp. for me!) Then T wanted a cheeseburger!

The daughter of one of our friends, when told of Ellie's arrival, asked, "Is she Chinese or black or what?" An excellent question! Consistent with her brother and sister, Ellie does not at this point look like either her mother or father. So she fits right in with our motely crew!

Once C's school was done on Monday, Oma and Opa had arrived, and we all went to the hospital to meet baby sister. C got a chance to hold her. M was intrigued but didn't quit know what to make of the situation. When in doubt, cling onto Dad!

On her first dr's visit on Wed, Ellie had dropped some weight. So T got some advice from the dr and a "lactation technician" on how to feed her. These procedures worked fine until Thursday (Thanksgiving) morning when Ellie decided that she would rather sleep than stick to the prescribed schedule of the medical professionals. Of course, violating the orders of medicals professionals is not to be tolerated in this house, so a kind dr at our pediatrician's office agreed to come in to see Little E to spare us a trip to the emergency room. Once at the dr's office, Little E, of course, then decided that she was willing to eat and all was right with the world; we could return home and eat our Thanksgiving meal. Babies prefer sleeping to eating; Babies refuse to be put on a schedule; who knew?

And so opens the next chapter of life in the H household. This ought to be fun...

Sibling tour & Trunk or Treat

Ellie's arrival must be soon as this morning we took C&M to the hospital for a "sibling tour" of the maternity ward. C was very interested in looking at the babies. As he observed, "They're small." He also became our nurse guide's helper--anything that needed to be distributed to children or adults, he was there and had it done in no time. He also won the "diaper your stuffed animal" contest easily (photo below). He had diapered "mommy doggie" before the nurse had finished her instructions. He left everyone else in the dust. T observed that he must be paying attention when we diaper M as he certainly knew what to do!

C has been asking for a pumpkin, so we got a medium-sized one after lunch. C and I carved it when we got home. It was my first pumpkin carving since I was a kid. And it really made me feel like a Dad to do one for, and with, my son. I remember Mom always did great carvings--with expressions, teeth, I think I remember eyebrows too. I didn't try anything complicated but followed C's instructions for small eyes, a triangular nose and a round mouth. It won't win any artistic awards but it's competent, esp. for my first one. I didn't have to cover up any gaffs and both C and I retained all our digits (or, for cousin A, phalangies!!!). Since I'm likely to be carving a pumpkin yearly for well into the future, I'll have plenty of opportunities to hone my craft (or lose my fingers...).

This evening, Advent had its fall festival and Trunk or Treat. Attendance was great. They had lots of activities and games for kids. C, of course, loved the inflatible slides and bounce house. M liked the bounce house too. She couldn't walk on its floor but enjoyed just rolling around on it and getting bounced by the jumping of the bigger kids. C dressed as Iron man, M as Winnie the Pooh (see below). T made sure C collected candy for M too, though as M doesn't eat candy yet, it explains why C was consistently instructed to choose the candy that T likes. After dark, they had a fire pit and smores. C did a great job toasting the marshmellows as I tried to keep M from diving into the fire. I'll give her credit for persistence if not prudence! She also is refusing to let others feed her so she grabbed a smore and got gooey marshmellow over both hands and was fascinated by her ability to generate long strands of goo stretching between her hands. Some got wiped on me as I tried to get it off of her hands.


What a fun day! And tomorrow, the kids will go on the CROP walk with me, and then Trick or Treating in the neighborhood in the evening.