How to Get a Girlfriend

M brought a book home with said title for her reading today.  How kindergarten reading material has improved since Dick and Jane!  The book is actually written and illustrated by 3 elementary school boys, so it is a real hoot.  It's full of all kinds of useful advice such as reminding boys of the need to brush their teeth, shower, and go to the potty before playing with the girl.  And resisting picking one's nose during wooing.  C grabbed the book immediately and read it to us--by far the most enthusiastic he has been about reading anything...ever.    He took the above suggestions in stride but was offended by the recommendation to "do a writing workshop so you can write her a letter of love."  It was unclear whether the offensive part was taking a writing workshop or writing a love letter.  But then came the page with the drawing of a boy and girl...kissing!  C denounced such a scene immediately and loudly in his 4th grade for-public-consumption outrage, declaring the idea to be DISGUSTING.  It was so bad, in fact, and it was so critical that we heard it, that it was worth repeating (loudly) three more time.  And then the clincher, C proclaims:  "I have a girlfriend too, but she hates me."  I'll have to check with T on how you would rate that relationship status on Facebook--probably "it's complicated."  Well, all of this is going to be DISGUSTING for a few more years and then it will remain complicated for a good while longer.  So in the meantime, I'll abide in the good advice of those precocious kids and continue to brush my teeth, shower, and go to the potty just to impress T.